Today is my 9th wedding anniversary and I have a confession to make. I forgot all about it.
I dropped my daughter off at school, went for a morning run and returned home to see my husband and high school sweetheart standing in the middle of the foyer with his arms wide open and a big smile on his face. I immediately wondered what wonderful thing I had done to deserve such a greeting. My high opinion of myself spiraled to the earth when my man exclaimed, “Happy Anniversary!!”
Knowing that pretending like I had remembered would have gotten me into a whole lot of trouble, I simply melted into his arms (well, not so much because I was kinda sweaty from the run), returned the wish and confessed my misdeed.
Naturally, I posted my anniversary news to Twitter and Facebook and received many congratulatory wishes. (Thank you!) I even got a few requests for some tips on how we’ve made it last this long. Hence, the title of this post: bliss, diss and kiss.
Can it get any simpler than that? Well, to be honest, it’s far more complicated in some respects, but in many ways, marriage boils down to just those things.
Bliss: Who needs an explanation of bliss? It’s the fantastic feeling after a romp in the hay or the simple knowledge that you are safer with your spouse than you are any other place on earth. Bliss is a part of marriage that is sweet and satisfying. But it’s not always that way. There’s always …
Diss: For example, if you forget your anniversary, your spouse may see that as a diss. I probably would, but now that I’ve done it and watched my husband let it go and love me anyway, if he ever forgets, I won’t see it that way.
Yes, we diss each other sometimes. And it hurts. But it’s never intentional because we always know that we have each other’s best interests at heart. But intentional or not, a diss is a diss and if you decide to stay married (or at least un-divorced), you will have to learn to get over lots of them. Then at the end of the day, you always …
Kiss: Whether it’s bliss or diss, the bottom line is that you have to make up your mind to kiss, meaning come together and stay together. Over and over again. My husband and I have a laundry list of legitimate issues that have caused other couples to call it quits. Hey, sometimes, there's just too much diss and not enough bliss. That's how it is sometimes when you are someone's life mate.
If splitting up is an option for either of you, then at some point, you’ll probably split up. But if it’s not, then you and your mate will kiss, not just after the bliss, but also after the diss.
So that’s it. Bliss. Diss. Kiss.
Question: what do you think?
This is an excellent post dM and very succinctly said! Many congratulations on 9 years of “Bliss, Diss & Kiss”! Here’s to many, many more!
This is an excellent post dM and very succinctly said! Many congratulations on 9 years of “Bliss, Diss & Kiss”! Here’s to many, many more!
OMGoodness, you made me cry~ I’m so glad I stopped what I was doing to sit, relax a moment and read this~ if we could impart these wisdoms to our younger generation I think families would get back to a better place. Children need to know their parents love and respect each other~ So many young people give up quickly~ and are so quick when dissed to quit~ Love, marriage, life in general is a journey. Live it, love it and most of all take the time to Enjoy It along the way~!
Thanks Donna Maria for the wonderful insight~ (a warning) if you keep smiling thru 25+ years of marriage like me~ you’re gonna have lots of eye wrinkies~like I do~! While I hate em, they’re worth it~
P.S.~ fwiw, I forgot mine too, and it was on Valentines Day~! I’m not so sure I would have been so forgiving as my dh~!
Hope you both have a wonderful day and an even better evening~with lots of kisses~!
OMGoodness, you made me cry~ I’m so glad I stopped what I was doing to sit, relax a moment and read this~ if we could impart these wisdoms to our younger generation I think families would get back to a better place. Children need to know their parents love and respect each other~ So many young people give up quickly~ and are so quick when dissed to quit~ Love, marriage, life in general is a journey. Live it, love it and most of all take the time to Enjoy It along the way~!
Thanks Donna Maria for the wonderful insight~ (a warning) if you keep smiling thru 25+ years of marriage like me~ you’re gonna have lots of eye wrinkies~like I do~! While I hate em, they’re worth it~
P.S.~ fwiw, I forgot mine too, and it was on Valentines Day~! I’m not so sure I would have been so forgiving as my dh~!
Hope you both have a wonderful day and an even better evening~with lots of kisses~!
Great post dM!!! Way to keep it real – I really love the way you have boiled it down to “Bliss, Kiss and Diss”. Congratulations on your anniversary!!! You can always make up for today’s Diss ; ).
P.S. my BF and I have both forgotten our anniversary for the last 2 years in row…
Great post dM!!! Way to keep it real – I really love the way you have boiled it down to “Bliss, Kiss and Diss”. Congratulations on your anniversary!!! You can always make up for today’s Diss ; ).
P.S. my BF and I have both forgotten our anniversary for the last 2 years in row…
I love it! “Bliss, Kiss and Diss” is a great way to simplify the often complicated world of relationships. Happy Anniversary and best wishes for many more!
I love it! “Bliss, Kiss and Diss” is a great way to simplify the often complicated world of relationships. Happy Anniversary and best wishes for many more!
Oops! Need to get the order correct: “Bliss, Diss and Kiss”. Whew. It does makes a difference. LOL
Oops! Need to get the order correct: “Bliss, Diss and Kiss”. Whew. It does makes a difference. LOL
Congrad!
Congrad!
Yay!! Congratulations! You nailed it with “Bliss, Diss and Kiss”, perfectly said. Enjoy your anniversary, and thanks for making my husband and I smile with your story (we both forget our anniversary, even last year which was our 20th!) I’m raising my glass of wine to you both!
Yay!! Congratulations! You nailed it with “Bliss, Diss and Kiss”, perfectly said. Enjoy your anniversary, and thanks for making my husband and I smile with your story (we both forget our anniversary, even last year which was our 20th!) I’m raising my glass of wine to you both!
Quite frankly, after 31 years sometimes it seems there’s a bit more Diss than Bliss or Kiss, but it all works out in the end. Congrats dM! Terrific photo!
Quite frankly, after 31 years sometimes it seems there’s a bit more Diss than Bliss or Kiss, but it all works out in the end. Congrats dM! Terrific photo!
Thank you for a great post and Congratulations on your anniversary.
My husband (of a lovely 8 months) and I have a policy of “Don’t go to bed Mad and Always Kiss Me Goodnight”. It’s hard sometimes when we’ve had a major blow-up, but we can say (so far) to each other “I don’t like you right now, but I do love you” and let things cool off so we can discuss things rationally.
To many more Happy Anniversaries!!!
Thank you for a great post and Congratulations on your anniversary.
My husband (of a lovely 8 months) and I have a policy of “Don’t go to bed Mad and Always Kiss Me Goodnight”. It’s hard sometimes when we’ve had a major blow-up, but we can say (so far) to each other “I don’t like you right now, but I do love you” and let things cool off so we can discuss things rationally.
To many more Happy Anniversaries!!!
I loved reading this. My DH and I have not forgotten an anniv. yet. (YET!) He usually remembers them better than I do, but we forget which year we are on sometimes. Is it 7, honey, or 8 this year? haha
I agree with Julie D., my grandmother always told me “never let the sun go down on your wrath.” (reference WWJD) It is SOOOO true. Always remember you are going to disagree, it’s ok to have your own opinion, the kids may have to come second, kiss each other hello/goodbye and goodnight, and… have fun!! Life is too short to be miserable! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and here’s to many more!
I loved reading this. My DH and I have not forgotten an anniv. yet. (YET!) He usually remembers them better than I do, but we forget which year we are on sometimes. Is it 7, honey, or 8 this year? haha
I agree with Julie D., my grandmother always told me “never let the sun go down on your wrath.” (reference WWJD) It is SOOOO true. Always remember you are going to disagree, it’s ok to have your own opinion, the kids may have to come second, kiss each other hello/goodbye and goodnight, and… have fun!! Life is too short to be miserable! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and here’s to many more!
@Renee: We got married in 2000 so it will always be easy to remember which year it is — so long as we remember it at all. My husband is very good about it. I’m the one who needs reminders! (Now, I have a permanent one, right here at this blog I guess!)
I like your reminder that the kids must come second in the big picture. The marriage comes first and if it’s taken care of, the kids are automatically fine. It’s important to prepare them for the world and keep your marriage prepared for when they are gone.
Thank you, Renee, for visiting and for the well wishes. I wish the same to you and your husband!
@Renee: We got married in 2000 so it will always be easy to remember which year it is — so long as we remember it at all. My husband is very good about it. I’m the one who needs reminders! (Now, I have a permanent one, right here at this blog I guess!)
I like your reminder that the kids must come second in the big picture. The marriage comes first and if it’s taken care of, the kids are automatically fine. It’s important to prepare them for the world and keep your marriage prepared for when they are gone.
Thank you, Renee, for visiting and for the well wishes. I wish the same to you and your husband!
@All: Thanks for your “keepin’ it real” confirmations. If we are going to support each other as business women and family women, we have to keep it real. Otherwise, it means nothing.
I’ve learned so much from all of you. Some are new friends, some are old, but each one precious.
@Maggie: you have taught me a lot over the years. I wonder if you know how much I’ve been watching you. Your statement that the family that grinds toghether binds together is one I will never forget. In fact, I credit it more than once with helping me keep perspective when I wanted to give up on either the marriage or the business. Or both!!
@All: Thanks for your “keepin’ it real” confirmations. If we are going to support each other as business women and family women, we have to keep it real. Otherwise, it means nothing.
I’ve learned so much from all of you. Some are new friends, some are old, but each one precious.
@Maggie: you have taught me a lot over the years. I wonder if you know how much I’ve been watching you. Your statement that the family that grinds toghether binds together is one I will never forget. In fact, I credit it more than once with helping me keep perspective when I wanted to give up on either the marriage or the business. Or both!!