In life, we sometimes pursue dreams that never materialize. A business that never launches. A relationship that fizzles out before it really starts. A job interview that goes nowhere. Those stubborn 10 (or 50) pounds that won't seem to go away. A marriage that, despite your best efforts, still ends in divorce. Why do these things happen? Are we failures? Did something happen in the womb or some dark and faraway place that we can't remember? Are the stars lined up against us? Are we living in the wrong century?
Some or all of those things may be true, but do you really want to waste time analyzing to death the whys and wherefores, when you could simply recognize the problem and start eliminating it, even before you know why it's there? Come, let us reason (briefly) together.
1. Is it Habit? Bad habits are at the root of lots of problems. Want to lose weight but have a habit of eating Twinkies? Want to spend more time with the kids but have a habit of watching too much television? Why waste time figuring out where the Twinkie or boob tube-watching habit started,when you could simply eat an apple, turn off the TV and analyze the rest later?
Your smoking habit could be the result of living with a father who smoked, and even condoned or encouraged your smoking. But while it may be your father's fault that you smoke, it's not his responsibility now that you are an adult. It's yours. That may not be fair, but that's the way it is.
2. Is it Bad Company? Unfortunately, those closest to us could be at the heart of the matter. Maintaining a close friendship with someone who's still on the street corner while you're moving in more productive circles? Living with a partner who spends more time sabotaging your entrepreneurial dreams than helping you pursue them?
Yes, other people's behavior can impede our progress, but only if we let it. You may have someone in your life who wishes you ill, or is even (intentionally or not) bringing you down. But at the end of the day, who cares why they are doing those things? Is it more important to know why, or to acknowledge the facts and take actions that are good for you?
3. Is it Low Self Esteem? Ouch, this is a big one for a lot of people, especially us girls. Maybe someone insulted you when you were young, told you you were fat or stupid. Maybe you never got picked for the basketball team. Maybe you were teased because your feet were ugly or your hair was too nappy or the gap between your front teeth made you look funny.
Or maybe it was more serious than that. Maybe you were molested as a child or abused by a parent or guardian. In many cases, professional help may be called for. But still, self esteem begins with who you think you are as a person. As a human being. As a distinct individual with beauty and value all your own — no matter what anyone else has said or done to hurt you.
Responsibility vs. Fault
Responsibility is different from fault. It may be someone's fault for hurting you or hindering your entrepreneurial pursuits, but it's your responsibility to make the best of your life anyway.
Even if it's another's fault for visiting ill in your life, it's not ultimately his or her responsibility to clean up the mess. That's your job.
How life is? Yes.
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14
How motivating is that? You don't have to spend excessive amounts of time figuring out the answer to every little question. No matter what is holding you back from your vision — a bad habit, bad company or low self esteem — you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that truth alone is the best place to start.
My prayer this week is that Indies the world over will remember that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that the wonder of who they are will permeate their being and make manifest every entrepreneurial dream they have. Even if you never have the answer to all the questions. The whys, the why nots, the hows and the why me's … You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and there's no good dream you have that cannot become a reality.
What Do You Think?
If you are a professional therapist, I invite you to share your insights and even tell me I'm wrong. If you're just a regular schmuck like me, without any counseling expertise, I want your thoughts too.
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Other Prayers of the Week
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