One of the most common questions I receive from other mom business owners is, “How do you do what you do and still have time for your family?” Depending on the day, you might get a different answer. But there are some things that are pretty consistent about my family life.
I thought I'd share a few tidbits with you in the hopes that seeing how someone else manages it might help you strike your the best integration (notice I did not say “balance”) of work, life and family.
- I have a partner. Because I married someone who is as involved with our children as I am, I don't do “mom” things in my home. My husband washes and sorts more laundry than I do. He does most of the work associated with getting the kids ready for school, while I do most of the homework and kid scheduling stuff. (As I publish this blog post, my husband, Darryl, is upstairs helping them bathe and brush teeth right now.)
The routine varies a bit from time to time, but it's pretty much set until we decide to change it. We are a tag teaming duo when it comes to the kids.
I am not Super Woman, nor do I behave like her. I don't manage my home alone (nor should any married woman have to), and this frees me to do the work I love.
- The best play time is unplanned. While I schedule my share of time with my kids, the best play times are unplanned. If my workday is not too busy and my daughter wants to play Go Fish, we do that. These impromptu moments are so much fun, with the three of us often tickling each other to death, making funny noises, and just making each other laugh.
I have a lot of energy, so by the time I'm done with them, they've had just about enough of mommy, and they move onto something else. I'm quite crazy with them, so when we're done, they don't miss me at all. In fact, nowadays, more than anything, I'm a total embarrassment.
- I cook. Even though it's not my “thing,” I do cook. I have a few staple meals that everyone here likes. In case your interested, they are:
(1) chili with condiment options like sour cream, cheese, spring onions and a salad;
(2) baked whole chicken with green beans and boiled potatoes;
(3) spinach salad with lots of goodies like roasted red peppers, feta cheese, celery. red onions, dried cranberries, and bacon bits;
(4) vegetable soup (made with leftovers from meal #2); and
(5) tuna salad with pasta and vegetables.See? Five days, five meals, done! Each takes about 30 minutes to prepare and I usually do it in between this email or that phone call — and sometimes while I'm on the phone.
Yes, this sometimes results in food that can only be described as “caramelized with love.”
My kids, ages 7 and 9, do a lot of the kitchen clean up. One of the best parts about being a mom is that other people can be trained to clean stuff up, even when you made the mess.
They'll be cooking for me soon soon, by the way.
- Date nights. My husband and I don't have very many of them. We consider this a temporary situation, and try to spend time together when we can. It may not be a “date,” but we make the most of it. It's a big challenge, probably the biggest one, but that's just how it is right now.
- Home cleaning. See #1. While my husband and I work together on this, it's not a strong suit for either of us. Rather than fuss over it (which we did for a while, by the way), we hired a fabulous cleaning lady named Miss Ellen. But she moved to Florida. I miss her and am looking to replace her. Know anyone?
So, that's pretty much it. Not all that exciting, is it?
We Planned It This Way
My husband and I married in 2000 knowing that I was an entrepreneur, and that I would work from home. The fact that we agreed in advance doesn't always make it easy, but it does provide perspective. No one is being caught off guard by this non-traditional arrangement, even though everyone doesn't always like it. There are times when it causes friction because I so love my life's work. That's just a part of it though. It is what it is.
We deal with it by focusing on the big picture — what we are creating over the long haul. This takes the focus off of the routine annoyances that might otherwise thwart our progress. It's not easy, but then, what is?
Question: If you're a mom business, with a husband and young kids, how do you successfully integrate work, life, and family?
Wow! It’s like you took a peek in our home!
We do a lot of tag-teaming, too. My husband hates loading the dishwasher and I hate emptying it. So… every evening, he empties the dishwasher and I load it during the day. When things get really busy and I don’t get my part done, he’ll at least start loading it for me. I have to admit that lately, he’s been doing most of the cooking, but here recently, we’re doing better with tag-teaming.
My work day begins once our school day ends. When Peter comes home, he’ll take over girl-wrangling and spend time with them, allowing me an hour to an hour-and-a-half to tend to business before dinner. Most nights, he puts our toddler to bed, because it’s the only time he really gets to spend alone with her.
When I’m uber-organized, I’ll plan meals for the crockpot and meals that make planned-overs (some that we can freeze). Here are my top ones:
Chili – freeze half
Taco soup – freeze half
Chicken & dumplings – freeze
Butternut squash soup (half a butternut squash makes this soup, so we freeze the other half); we serve this as a side vegetable with pork or roast chicken
Girl Scout stew
And our favorite “I don’t have dinner planned” dinner – Breakfast!
This is what makes it happen for us. I’m trying to institute guidelines for everyone picking up after themselves. None of us likes to clean, so if we can do a little bit every day, it’s less painful. Unfortunately, the 2-year-old destroys as fast as we can pick up!
Thanks for sharing, Sara. I remember when we had 2-year olds. What a test of patience and stamina! I’d love the recipe for Butternut squash soup — that’s one of my favorite vegetables. And what on earth is Girl Scout stew? (I feel like I should know …)
Oh! And what’s your favorite crock pot recipe site? It is October, so it’s crock pot weather for sure. And you home school too? I think you should write a book, don’t you? (Yeah, easy for me to add one more thing, right …?)
Great post! Thanks for sharing your story 🙂 Liana.
🙂
It’s so refreshing to peek into another mompreneur’s life. I’m working on integrating family, work, life. I feel like we’re in a state of adjustment, but I think adjusting is an ongoing part of working from home, when you have kids.
Occasionally, I’ve take a whole day and devoted it to a cooking marathon, making enough meals to freeze for a whole month. However, this only happens a few times each year. I’m still working on my meal staples, but my trademark is pairing an entree with frozen veggies. And my quickest entree is broiled tilapia (~10 min).
Cleaning – I’ve learn to let go in this area. A housecleaner is on my list of things to get to, but in the meantime, I’m waiting for those elves to come in the middle of the night.
This topic is near and dear to my heart; thanks for sharing your personal approach on achieving balance. I’m a single mom and when my girls were young I couldn’t realistically focus on starting a new business. It was enough to manage my day job and take care of them.
Now that their older I do find myself with much more “me” time which allows me to work against my business. We have our together moments but I’m finding (at least for my 12 year old) she would really rather just be by herself.
So the way I balance is really compartmentalizing my day and loosening up on certain activities.
Morning is for me (fitness/walk the dogs) and getting the kids ready and out the door.
7am to 7pm is the day job.
Evening is dinner and connecting with the kids
Later evening is bubs and scrubs work
Weekends is whatever kid activity is scheduled, bubs and scrubs, and occasionally an outing or local event.
Kids help with the chores. They do their own laundry, clean up dishes, and vacuum.
I make some larger meals on the weekends for heat-up meals during the week.
I also buy healthy foods kids can assemble into meals and snacks pretty easily w/o my help. When I’m home they can make basic things themselves (if they want) like a grilled cheese or scrambled eggs.
I take a team approach in my household which helps. There’s no way I can do it all.
I had a cleaning service but am looking again. Just wasn’t worth the money and the cleaning really has to happen daily in my house – or it gets out of control really quickly. And when that happens – I lose it which isn’t good for anyone! 🙂