This morning, I had enjoyed a phone chat over coffee with one of my dearest friends. So you have an idea of what I mean by “dearest,” we once pulled an all-nighter in a men's college dormitory hallway, drinking several bottles of wine, after one of our boyfriends ditched us. (I won't tell you which one of us was ditched.)
This morning, we were chatting about the holidays and life in general. She has three children and I have two. We are both married and insanely busy and encumbered this time of year. During our conversation, Terri told me what a pleasure it was to be “friendly with the moment” with me. I had never heard that phrase before, and when I learn something new, I like to share it with you. So, here's what I learned this morning about being friendly with the moment.
Being friendly with the moment is about:
- Focus on the positive. When your car breaks down on the side of the road in the middle of the night, there is still something friendly about the moment. While you're waiting for a tow, you may come across a single-serving candy bar in the bottom of your purse. Savor it. Or maybe you can simply be thankful that your baby is not in the car with you, or that you have a cell phone so you can call for help. Focusing on the positive means choosing to recognize that no situation is entirely negative.
Be friendly with the moment by focusing on the positive in any situation.
- Lean into difficulty? When adversity comes your way, be proactive about learning something from it. At the end of the day, you'll learn something anyway, but I have found that when I am proactive about learning, the potential pain of the learning experience is lessened. In other words, when you lean into a difficult situation, rather than resist it, you learn faster and equip yourself better to help others when adversity comes their way. I bet it takes the same amount of energy to lean into the difficult that it does to resist it. So why not lean into it? You'll probably get a better result if you do.
Be friendly with the moment by leaning into difficulty.
- Make friends with your life. Life sucks sometimes. It just does. Even so, what a blessing!
Besides, all sucking is temporary, if we choose for it to be. No matter what is going on in your life at any given time, including the stress of the holiday season, remember to be fully who you are in it. Be alive in your present circumstances, and put the best of yourself forward in them.
Be friendly with the moment by becoming best friends with yourself and the one life you have.
No matter where you are in a busy, stressful, anxiety-filled day, you can focus on the positive, lean into difficulty, and be friendly with your life.
Question: What are your tips for and questions about being friendly with the moment?