As a new attorney, I entered the courtroom for the first time terrified. The judge who would hear my case was Chief Judge Frank Kaufman of the US District Court for the District of Maryland. He was known as a no nonsense judge with no patience for green attorneys.
I tried everything to relax, and despite how prepared I was, I was still convinced I'd do a terrible job. And I was right. I nearly imploded in the middle of the trial. It was so bad that the opposing counsel never objected to my crazy questions. But what surprised me most was Chief Judge Kaufman's response. When I asked a nonsensical question, he leaned over the bench and said, "Ms. Coles, perhaps if you ask the question this way, the witness will answer you." Or, "Ms. Coles, why don't you ask this question, see if that works."
I felt so inept, but I kept going, pretending that everything was going just as it should. I managed to get through it and my colleagues took me out to lunch afterward, each one telling me the awful story of their first time alone in court with a client's well being hanging in the balance. Nearly every time I present at a conference or speak publicly, that experience empowers me. I know that, no matter how terrified I am, I can deliver my message with confidence and self assurance.
If lack of confidence is stopping you from doing something vital to your business, remember first that the only way to gain confidence is to just take a deep breath and put yourself out there. And second, there will always be someone, even a most unlikely someone, to help you if they see that you are pulling your weight and trying to do your best.
Question: Have you ever followed a project through to completion, even though you were scared to death, and come out on the other side with more confidence to tackle the next challenge? Share your experiences in the comments section below so we can all benefit and be encouraged.
Hi Donna Maria,
I once read a quote that said generally speaking people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. I felt that way during my college public speaking class until I had to give a demonstration speech -show how to do something while explaining the process. I found that keeping my hands busy while explaining how to do something I knew how to do made a big difference in increasing my level of confidence and decreasing my level of nervousness. So now when I feel unsure or nervous about doing something I don’t know how to do, I take time to remind myself of all the other things in my life I now do well that I didn’t know how to do at one time. It makes me pull my shoulders back and keep – like you said – putting myself out there. Enjoy your day!
Hi Donna Maria,
I once read a quote that said generally speaking people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. I felt that way during my college public speaking class until I had to give a demonstration speech -show how to do something while explaining the process. I found that keeping my hands busy while explaining how to do something I knew how to do made a big difference in increasing my level of confidence and decreasing my level of nervousness. So now when I feel unsure or nervous about doing something I don’t know how to do, I take time to remind myself of all the other things in my life I now do well that I didn’t know how to do at one time. It makes me pull my shoulders back and keep – like you said – putting myself out there. Enjoy your day!
@Robin: That’s so powerful, to remind yourself of past successes and accomplishments as a way to spur yourself onward to conquer the next challenge. Keep putting yourself out there. We like what we see!
@Robin: That’s so powerful, to remind yourself of past successes and accomplishments as a way to spur yourself onward to conquer the next challenge. Keep putting yourself out there. We like what we see!
More than ten years back, I found myself testifying at the State Capitol to my State Representatives about programs for disabled children. I was absolutely terrified to do it, but knew that I had to fight for the programs that helped us keep our disabled child at home. The mother bear in me wanted to protect my little cub, and it helped me overcome my fear of public speaking.
I am still scared of public speaking, but I challenge myself to go out of my comfort zone, like being a co-host on Donna Maria’s radio show! Yes, I was terrified, but yes, I DID IT! That must have been the soaper in me!
Thanks for sharing your courtroom story, it’s nice to know that others have started out terrified and gone on to shine in the spotlight!
Always enjoy your wisdom!
More than ten years back, I found myself testifying at the State Capitol to my State Representatives about programs for disabled children. I was absolutely terrified to do it, but knew that I had to fight for the programs that helped us keep our disabled child at home. The mother bear in me wanted to protect my little cub, and it helped me overcome my fear of public speaking.
I am still scared of public speaking, but I challenge myself to go out of my comfort zone, like being a co-host on Donna Maria’s radio show! Yes, I was terrified, but yes, I DID IT! That must have been the soaper in me!
Thanks for sharing your courtroom story, it’s nice to know that others have started out terrified and gone on to shine in the spotlight!
Always enjoy your wisdom!